Von der Raupe zum Schmetterling

Meadow with butterfliesAs I heard of the kidney tumor at the beginning of the year, my first thought was not to think of any treatments until I get this year’s rehabilitation off to a good pace. I thought it would take at least two months to recover from the surgery. The better my condition is, the faster my recovery will be, I reasoned. I was hoping in my mind that the tumor will be operated in the second half of the year, but I didn’t even mention anything about it, because the doctors let me understand that postponing the surgery for two months would be a risk.

Personally, I didn’t feel that the tumor threatened my life. Instead, lack of exercise was usually immediately apparent in my condition. That’s why fitness training was a priority for me.  When the doctors couldn’t make me change mind by April, they sent me to the palliative center.

My first visit to the palliative center showed me that I couldn’t actually get help from there, but my life would start to revolve around the tumor. By no means did I want that. Whatever I did, the situation would require monitoring, but it was a different matter to monitor the development of the situation after the tumor was removed than to feel, which symptoms might be caused by the tumor. Surgery was the best treatment in my opinion, although it meant that I was completely dependent on the help of others for a while after the surgery.

So, in June I spontaneously signed up in the surgery queue. Before the surgery, I wanted to take care of my sore tooth. I got an appointment in a public dental clinic the next morning. As I walked home with my assistant from the dental clinic, I said to her that now we just wait for the doctor to let us know the time of the surgery. Before we got home, I got a call from the hospital and was informed that the day of surgery is July, the 2nd. That is, less than a month after I signed up for the surgery.

Once the matter was agreed upon, the preparation for the operation proceeded rapidly in a logical order. My grateful job was to admire, how well the collaboration between different health care units was. Everything seemed to happen as if by itself. My job was to make sure, my personal information was up to date at various stages.

The nurse doing the final preparations in the operating room reminded me that I was in good hands and it was my duty to think positively and create positive energy. I firmly believed that the intelligent cells in my body worked with doctors and nurses so that everything went well. I set aside my ego and left everything to „the Lord”, so to speak.

After the surgery, as I came to my senses in the recovery room at 4 PM, my predominant feeling was that my mouth was parched dry. I had a hard time breathing (until I got an oxygen mustache), but there was nothing in my body that I would describe with the word pain. My stomach hurt a bit, but I was mentally prepared for ten times worse pain.

The pains stayed away later also. When I got up to stand, the inner scars of my stomach hurt, but only for a moment. Intense vasoconstriction or muscle cramp causes a much more nasty feeling of pain. I had an impressive transverse surgical wound curving from the left side of my body over the diaphragm to the lower right rib.  It hurt only when I laughed or coughed. Otherwise, it didn’t hurt more than ordinary wounds we sometimes get in our daily lives.

Although the surgery caused some discomfort and a feeling of powerlessness in my body, the surgery was a magical event. As I woke up, I felt like there was still stardust on me. Normally a kidney weighs 150 g (5.29 oz), but my enlarged, removed kidney with tumor weighed 1.7 kg (3.7 lb). It was an indication of body intelligence to me.

The tumor was 17 cm (6.6 inches) long and 13 cm (5.1 inches) at its widest point. It is obvious that if the kidney had maintained its normal size and the tumor had been allowed to grow uncontrollably, it would have long ago made the kidney inoperative and caused other damage. However, intelligent kidney cells have done their best to keep the organ functioning normally. It has expanded as the tumor has spread. Part of the tumor was in necrosis and I believe that too is the effect of intellectual kidney cell protection measures.

The question arises as to how a malignant tumor can develop in a body, if the intelligent cells are to maintain our health and the normal functioning of the organs. I think the emergence of tumors can be as insidious a process as the corruption of organs in society. Corruptive organs are sometimes called cancer. It may be that at some point the body has created benign growth to protect itself, but at some point the tumor has begun to fulfill its own mission (maybe to become the biggest and most important organ of the body :-)).

Originally also the Illuminati had well-intentioned goals. The purpose of the Illuminati founder, Adam Weishaupt, was to spread the ideas of the Enlightenment. The goal was to emphasize reason in people’s thinking, get rid of superstition, and reduce the power of church and state. When the organization gained new members, who had not internalized its original goals, wanted to shore up own position and carry out own mission (agenda), the organization became a secret society corrupting the activities of society.

Life After Surgery

Before the surgery, I read online that someone got rid of heart problems and anemia after kidney removal. It has been interesting to see the effects of surgery on my own state of being.
The first visible change was noticeable in my legs not swelling as before. I noticed that my vision improved. Likewise my appetite. My weight dropped 5-6 kg, part of which was the weight of the removed kidney. My physiotherapist said this is all due to an improved lymphatic circulation. When fluids do not swell the body, intraocular pressures return to normal and vision improves. The accumulation of fluids in the body easily raises the weight by 2-3 kg, that is 4-7 lb It is clear that as the lymphatic circulation improves, the weight decreases.

When I left the hospital, my hemoglobin level was 100, which was an indication of anemia. When I got home, the value improved rapidly. In recent years, I have gradually given up foods one after another, because they caused swelling and problems. Before surgery, I ate only protein foods and sauerkraut. After the surgery, I have returned to normal diet.

21 days after surgery, I walked for the first time on the Alter Gravity treadmill. Despite muscle weakness, walking was lighter than before surgery. Until now, I walk like at the beginning of this year.

During the surgery, I got rid of the tumor, but being in the hospital was also a chance for me for spiritual growth. I saw how well everyone worked together, but even though I expected everything to go well and everything happened as if by itself, I didn’t take it for granted. I was aware that despite the routines that health care has developed to make things easier and faster, eventually I was personally responsible for the success of my treatment.

I was the coordinator (project manager) of the operation project. No matter what, I want my inner being to have control and everything I attract should be influence of my inner being. In other words, my inner being should be my point of attraction. If I give control to the ego, I easily become the weakest link in my life.

In September 2017, I wrote that the goal of spiritual growth is the path of least resistance According to Abraham, „the path of least resistance“ is a bad expression, because it contains resistance, albeit to a small degree.

Our goal is to get rid of the resistance created by the ego completely, to allow our inner being to guide ourselves and to become sensitive to listening to our inner impulses. It is absolutely vital that we tune our energy to meet our highest goals in order to achieve what we want. Abraham describes this with the words „path of most allowance“, that is the path of greatest devotion. We should unconditionally surrender to the guidance of our inner being. Only in this way can we connect with the vibrational world that we have created with our thoughts.


Read also:

I Create My Own Reality I
I Create My Own Reality II
The Goal of Spiritual Growth: Path of Least Resistance


Abraham Hicks: Let The Source Choose Your Path, It Will Be Shown To You
Abraham Hicks: If you want it – it is done
Abraham Hicks: Spending more time with source energy
Abraham Hicks: Focusing on your own life
Abraham Hicks: Tapping into your power



This writing is built around the English word ‘compassion’. I first began to explore the deeper meaning of the word when I heard many years ago Gregg Braden speak about the view of a spiritual leader of a Tibetan monastery that compassion is – according to Eastern spiritual tradition – the highest goal of man. This statement confused me.

I have always thought that spirituality raises us above time and place, so that we have the opportunity to be uplifted from the circumstances and events in the material world. So what does compassion actually mean? The word compassion is given meanings such as mercy, empathy, pity, grace, sympathy, understanding etc. The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines the word compassion as an awareness that is compassionate and able to relate to another person’s pain and seeks to alleviate them. Empathy, or the ability to put oneself in someone’s shoes is considered the highest value of a Christian.

Although the qualities I have listed above are virtues, I do not think there is anything spiritual in them. Every person with a healthy self-esteem and an instinct of self preservation acknowledges them in childhood. Many spiritual teachers highlight the importance of empathy and regard it as the highest virtue of man, which it in many ways is. Many people seem to consider empathy as a measure of their spirituality: the more vulnerable they are to being hurt on behalf of others, the more spiritual they regard themselves.

Large groups of people have based their lives on other people’s compassion for themselves. If you do not endlessly want to listen to these people’s attempts to manipulate you, you will be denounced a racist or a supporter of “white supremacy” or otherwise inhuman and cold-hearted. I myself have had such accusations, because I expect things to happen, as has been agreed. It is natural that things do not always go according to plan. I blow the whistle to bring an end to the game, if the reasons for failures start to sound like compiled explanations.

There is a trap associated with empathy (humanitarianism) that I wrote about back in October 2017 in my article „Jesus Lifts Your Energy“. Empathic people, who are involved in humanitarian work and respect human rights, sympathize with the people and their problems they are assisting so closely, that the vibrational frequency of their energy field becomes as low as that of the people they are helping. As a consequence, they lose contact with their own inner being and begin to act on the level of ego consciousness. They become “blind guides of the blind”, who have hardly anything to give to those they help.

It seems that a large portion of the world’s population has fallen into the trap of empathy as famous and influential people around the world begin to support “peaceful” riots by vandals, anarchists and the far left rather than supporting those, who want constructive cooperation.  With common sense this is impossible to understand.

My confusion about this matter began to dissipate when I heard Abraham say that compassion is not empathy (although it requires it to some extent). Compassion is man’s ability to see himself and each other from the perspective of God, through the eyes of their inner being. It is not our job to sympathize with each other’s misery and struggle or “bear one another’s burdens”. Our job is to see and support each other’s strengths, internal resources and potential.

In Finland there is a saying: Carried water does not stay in the well.  It means there is no point in helping or teaching anyone, who has no desire to learn and succeed on their own. God helps those who help themselves. Our inner being has a connection to the fountain of life. This could be seen as „white supremacy“ and I hope it will spread all over the world.  All people have an inner being, that is, the opportunity to connect with the source of life.

Just as a tree grows roots, in order to connect to vital resources, people need to have a personal connection to the fountain of life. For as is said: Carried water does not stay in the well.


Read also:

Jesus Lifts Your Energy
Living a balanced life on own conditions

Carlo Maria Viganò: Open Letter to President Trump

Vatikaanin pilliinpuhaltajan (Carlo Maria Viganò) kirje Trumpille


Abraham Hicks – This Is All About You … Abraham Describes A Brand New Blend of Attraction!





I wrote in mid-February about my surreal early year, which I spent in hospital for examinations. On the second evening I meditated in the patient room and I felt like laughing Buddha, with no worries at all. My loving heart and intellectual body is all I need. I was especially happy that I was so glad and carefree, even though I had heard the day before that there was a malignant tumor in my right kidney.

For the previous day’s procedure, I had had a CT scan a week earlier, just in case. When the doctor told me about the tumor, I was waiting for access to a procedure. A nurse had given me some medicine a moment earlier. I saw the doctor talking to me, but his words didn’t touch me at all. “OK, my body can handle this,” I thought.

I didn’t think about it further than until the next morning. I spent an uncomfortable night and the doctors came for a round in the morning. They talked to each other about the discovery and the necessary referrals and follow-up.  “At some point, there’s a kidney removal ahead,” someone said. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. The doctors seemed to be making plans before they had even properly talked with me about the tumor. Kidney removal was not even an option in my mind. I didn’t want to think such a radical treatment at first.

Doctors scheduled a CT scan for the same day to find out, if the tumor had spread to other organs. They found changes in the lungs that they considered metastases. A sample of the tumor was taken. It showed that it was a cancerous tumor. It was over 10 cm long and the right kidney was dilated disproportionately compared to the left. When I looked at it from the doctor’s computer, I wondered, how can an organ enlarge so much without affecting the functioning of the organ in any way.

“These usually lead to death,” the doctor said with a serious face. „Why does he say that to me?“ I asked myself. Did I give too carefree an impression of myself? Did he want to say that there was no reason to be happy and carefree, but I should start planning my cancer treatments with a wrinkle on my forehead? Was he like the doctors, who wrote in my papers 40 years ago that I am not aware of the seriousness of my situation?

Personally, I didn’t feel the tumor threatened my life in any way. God knows how long it has taken that the tumor has reached its present dimensions. However, at no point has it given clear signs of itself. I thought it was crazy that doctors wanted to send me to an operating table with such a hurry. I wanted to focus on my rehabilitation, digest the whole thing and keep my antenna tuned to every direction. During four months I told about my diagnose only to my younger sister and my assistant.

My sister said I should listen to the doctors. “The surgery only removes what doesn’t belong in the body,” she said. If only that would be the case. In practice, however, surgery removes a functioning kidney. Doctors said the tumor may spread, after which the situation will be difficult, if not impossible, to correct with surgery. In addition, the tumor may cause complications, in the worst case a pulmonary embolism, and that would be my end.

Although the tumor has not given clear signs of itself, no-one can say, how it affects my overall condition. I read in a forum that a woman’s heart problems and anemia with its ramifications vanished after kidney removal.

Despite of all the warnings, I don’t feel threatened in any way. I can’t make decisions based on someone’s fear of the situation becoming incorrigible. I don’t think there are bad cells in the body that are trying to conquer the body and break it down from within. I believe that the cells have the ability to maintain my health, if I make sure that they have everything they need, especially connection to the source energy. When it comes to my own health and well-being, the most important thing is what I personally believe in and what I think.

Because doctors couldn’t change my mind concerning the surgery they sent me to the palliative health care unit that gives holistic support care. I thought that it is just the right place for me, so that I can digest everything in peace and consider all alternatives for my treatment.

Purpose of Health Care: Activation and Maintenance of the Defense Mechanisms of the Body

When the most significant thing to my health and well-being is, what I believe, do, and think, it can be said that all extracorporeal interventions are “belief treatments”, which is a derogatory expression in Finland for the treatments of alternative medicine. They are based on the belief that the measures have a positive effect on health and on the balance of the body. The means used by school medicine are also such.

I do not want this in any way to belittle the achievements of medicine: I am aware that I would have died for more than 40 years ago, if medicine would not have targeted treatments to different situations. I just want to say that medicine still has a long development process ahead before we are in an optimal situation. The fact that doctors want to remove a functioning kidney with the tumor is a reminder to me of people’s tendency to throw the baby out with the bathwater.

There are many documented cases around the world of tumors spontaneously dissolving. The clearest example is the energy healing witnessed by Gregg Braden at a medicineless hospital in Beijing. He was able to watch in real time from a monitor the disappearance of a tumor. The fact that someone says energy healing is based on belief treatments and the placebo phenomenon does not change the fact that they happen.

Speaking of placebo: who remembers the young Danish man I wrote about in June 2013? The man took part in a clinical trial. During the experiment, he tried to commit suicide by eating all the medications he received.

The suicide attempt failed. The man began to feel very sick and sought treatment. In the hospital, he lost consciousness for a moment. The doctors considered the situation serious when they could not get the man’s condition stabilized and finally, contacted the doctor in charge of the drug experiment. Everyone was baffled when it turned out that the man was in the placebo group for the drug trial. He had ingested calcium tablets. When it became clear to the man that his life was not in danger, the functions of his body stabilized within 15 minutes.

This is a clear example of what fear causes and what happens when the body’s own defense mechanisms go out and, thanks to positive outlooks, are reactivated. All health care is based on this; the human body is a psychophysical entity that should be treated as such.

I believe that the operating principle of energy treatments is as simple as the effect of massage on muscles. The masseur manipulates the muscles so that muscle cramps and stiffness give up, allowing energy and fluids to circulate freely in the body. An energy healer works in the same way, but the action takes place at the level of the energy body. An energy therapist manipulates the energy field so that energy locks disappear and the body’s own defense mechanisms are activated.

Doctors, therapists and energy healers do not cure or rehabilitate anyone themselves. Even the best therapist or doctor cannot rehabilitate or heal their client unless they have the ability to activate the clients own physical and mental resources. This is what I wish for myself and everyone else.


Read also:

I Create My Own Reality I
I Create My Own Reality III

We Create Our Own Reality.



One of Abraham’s most powerful teachings is when they talk about people’s tendency to get stuck in what’s happening and what they are observing.  We try to see our sensory perception from as many points of view as possible, but by doing so, we usually focus on the problem at hand, although we could focus on solving the problem. Many people regard it as a merit that we keep our feet firmly on the ground and „face the realities as they are“. This kind of thinking slows down our development, because by focusing on what we see, we create nothing new. The Law of Attraction provides us with what our thoughts are focused on, so today’s realities will be repeated in the future.

In Abraham’s view, people should let go of their tendency to simply react to what is happening and let things carry themselves, as if they had no control over things themselves. Instead of being reactive, we should be proactive and start consciously creating our own reality. The saying „facing realities as they are“ can be seen from many viewpoints. What matters most in interpreting things is what we want to believe in and focus our attention on. We ourselves can create our realities.

In one video, Abraham tells a story of a woman complaining that she is very sad since her lover left her. Abraham explained to the woman that she is not sad, because her lover left her. The woman had found the best of herself during the relationship with that partner, and when the partner left, she yearned for him instead of being herself. This attitude activated in her completely opposite emotions and qualities than she had enjoyed during the relationship. When we say that spouses take pieces of us with them this happens only, if we allow it to happen.

I no longer have this kind of relationship problems. However, while in the hospital, I turned my attention to a different kind of reality that has kept me in its grip for the last decades. It’s about my bladder problems, or an overactive bladder. In the last decades I have allowed my symptoms in many respects to determine my life. I have thought that I just have to live with that problem and that has practically meant that I have not seized my opportunities. I have not participated in festivities and countless times I have not gone to a friend’s summer cottage, because participation without enjoyment was not appealing.  Even when I go outdoors I choose my route so that I always know where the toilets are. This has meant that I have not gone to the actual outdoor routes at all.

My situation has not been too depressing for me, because my overall condition has been satisfying. In any case, it has been more rewarding to be immersed in my various projects at the computer. They have often taken all my time, 12 hours a day. Going to the shop has been my only outdoor activity.

However, in recent years, nature has become increasingly attractive to me and I really want to go out and enjoy my time. But how could this suddenly be possible now?  The answer to this problem came as naturally as the nurses put a diaper on me in the hospital. I was glad that I was able to enjoy my time for once without the need to think about going to the toilet.

Prejudice Blocking Our Thinking

As I enjoyed the new feeling of freedom caused by the diaper I recalled those times, when I had been somewhat confused when watching various royal, political or religious ceremonies on television that follow a strict etiquette and often last many hours, such as the Pope’s Easter Mass. Subconsciously I have always been pondering the question of how people control their bladder in these events. I realized that certainly many have a diaper on. Like many professional workers, who must be fully prepared and operational for hours without the opportunity to go to the toilet or where going to the toilet could endanger the entire ongoing operation. Not to mention sports and competition enthusiasts, who want to focus on what they are doing. Diaper allows an uninterrupted night’s sleep for a person, who would otherwise have to go to the bathroom several times a night.

When you consider the freedom that diapers allow, it is strange that diapers are perceived as a care item for babies, the elderly, and the sick. It is common sense that diapers should be seen as neutral as women’s sanitary napkins. I have not been stuck by these stigmatizing thoughts in relation to diapers, but by my own thought that I will not bath my butt in a wet diaper. In the hospital I noticed that diapers are super absorbent, and they never feel uncomfortably wet. While reviewing the adult diaper supply online, I noticed that the most absorbent diapers can hold more than four liters of pee.

In the future, I won’t let my symptoms limit my activities at all. I will focus on, how I can make the most of the freedom I have discovered. Diaper pants on and off we go!


Read also:

Adult diapers for every occasion:


Abraham Hicks: Ignoring the Reality Game
Abraham Hicks: Releasing The Resistance To What-Is
Abraham Hicks: Don’t look back – your what is, is keeping you from your what can be




The beginning of the year was surreal. I was in a hospital for examination and initially I had to spend one night there. The next day, however, the doctors wanted to do another procedure, which meant that I had to stay in the hospital for two nights.

The first night in the hospital had been such a pain: the hard bed pressed on my hip bones, it was so narrow that I couldn’t even turn my side, my roommate snored (earplugs helped a bit) and I had headache. The thought of another night under the same circumstances seemed intolerable.

I felt a strong inner urge to meditate to form a clear picture of my situation so I could speak my mind. I did not want to depend solely on doctors‘ opinions concerning my health. „How can I focus my thoughts and meditate here in the patient room, where the nurses do their work non-stop and my roommate has constantly visitors,“ I asked myself. My assistant found one bluetooth earpiece in her bag. It was better than nothing.

In the evening, I listened to meditation music on Youtube on my mobile phone to calm my mind. I had an earpiece in one ear and an earplug in the other. The roommate’s conversation faded into the background. After two hours, the earpiece was out of power. Now what?

I switched the music video to another and left it quietly playing on my bedside table to focus my thoughts. Soon the music started to play in my ears as loud as if I had earphones. I thought maybe I should lower the volume so my roommate wouldn’t be disturbed.

As I focused my thoughts on music, it took me straight to the good-feeling place, where I wanted to be. I was like a laughing Buddha. I didn’t think of anything. I fell deeper and deeper into my well-being. I have everything I need: a loving heart and trillions of perfect body cells. It was one of the most appreciative and loving moments I have experienced. I had diaper on and I was very happy to be able to enjoy my time for once without having to think about toilet visits.

Occasionally my roommate’s conversation stopped altogether and there was peace all around. Only the music was playing in the background. After the evening tea, the nurses changed my diaper, I brushed my teeth and went to bed. Before falling asleep, I tried to put my insights on my health in a verbal form. At night my roommate didn’t snore or at least I didn’t hear it. I slept like a log until morning. In the morning, I was able to clearly present my point of view to the doctors, considering my overall situation.

Body Cleansing In Meditation

I had come home from the hospital the previous evening. The next day I was dizzy and so tired I couldn’t even think of anything. My body was filled with foreign substances injected into my veins during the examinations, such as anesthetics and contrast agents and God knows what. I went to bed after lunch and when I woke up in the late afternoon I was very happy. I could hardly wait to meditate and listen (and watch) to the music video on my television.

I listened to the whole three hour music video. At the end of the video I lifted my cloak at the whim of the moment. My thighs and upper front body were filled with red-white spots, as if I had some kind of a pox disease. „I’m allergic to meditation,“ my ego said. However, I had inner knowledge that my body was undergoing major cleaning. I became a confirmation of this when I noticed that unlike earlier in the day, my urine was very cloudy and dirty looking.

The next day, I meditated on the same 528 Hz music for seven hours. I wanted to immerse myself into the good feeling. Within hours, I noticed that the skin eruption on my body was spreading. In the evening, the thighs and the front of the torso were completely red. The skin was slightly swollen, as in burns. However, the skin felt normal except a slight feeling of heat when I touched the skin.

My body seemed to have removed foreign substances from my body on an accelerated process. I had cloudy, blood-stained urine that seemed to have bloody pieces of mucosa in it. I was feeling relieved and happy. When I saw the hospital examination papers on my desk, they seemed to be someone else’s papers.

Intelligence of Our Bodies

I write in my article Gods Temple in My Heart that the divine part in us is like an old water well, hidden deep in a forest, whose lid is under moss, leaves and brushwood. The decaying layers of the lid are ballast of the ego, and once we have cleared access to the well, we have a direct connection to the fountain of life, which is our intuitive mind.

This all is magnificent, wonderful and delightful. However, the divine side within us is not limited to our hearts. Our whole body is a temple of God. It consists of tens of trillions of cells that are intelligent beings. They have a direct connection to the source energy, which is the breeding ground for all things. They operate under the Law of Attraction, know their function, and know exactly what they need to accomplish their task. So they have the ability to maintain body health and good condition, if they have a constant connection to the source energy.

However, this is often not the case, as most people live at the level of ego consciousness. Everything is based on liberty and free will and the cells of the body are „at the mercy“ of the ego as to whether they have a connection to source energy. Cells do not automatically maintain body condition and health. Our egos think they know everything better than our intuitive minds or intelligent cells, so they are subordinate to ego’s thoughts, perceptions and beliefs. The cells can only function within the limits set by the ego.

However, we can consciously break the vicious circle created by the ego. When we quiet the resistant thoughts and confused mind of the ego in meditation, our energy begins to vibrate with our intuitive mind at the same frequency, the cells are connected to the source energy and can fulfil their original purpose.

They remove metabolic waste and foreign substances from our bodies, break down foreign elements into atoms and flush them down the drain and maintain our health and physical condition. It is only a question of allowing it to happen.


Read also:

Die Wirkung der emotionalen Intelligenz


528 Hz Positive Energy (Love Frequency) | Miracle Healing Frequency | Ancient Frequency Music | Detox Your Heart

Dr. Lee Bartel (TEDx talks): Music Medicine: Sound At A Cellular Level

Abraham Hicks: Recreate perfect body cells
Abraham Hicks: You Are so Close To Manifest What You Want


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